In a desperate last-ditch effort to turn into some kind of tidy person in my later years, and if you could see the kitchen or indeed any other room in this house you would know just how Herculean a task we're talking about here, I have started a collection of housewifely mantras of tidiness, which I should like to share.
'I don't like to have one day spill over into the next' -- my mum, on why she wouldn't go to bed if there was anything at all left in or on the kitchen sink.
'Every time I bring something new into the house, I get rid of something old' -- my friend L. I can see how this one might stop the hallway from filling up with books and forcing me to start getting into and out of the house through the roof.
'If you don't make a mess, you won't have a mess to clean up' -- L's mum. Easy for her to say, I'm sure.
'Never walk from one room to another with empty hands' -- my friend D. This is a beauty. The house is much tidier since I heard her say this.
'Clear as you go' -- Mrs Beeton.
'Put the cats' meat in the fridge' -- You-Know-Who.