Masculinity under threat

Norway, it seems, is abuzz with indignation after a primary school headmistress, fielding complaints from cleaners that little boys kept missing the toilet bowl, suggested that said little boys should pee sitting down.

This has caused an uproar. She has been accused of trying to foil God's plan. It seems that to pee neatly is to pee like a girl, than which, naturally, there can be nothing worse.

I love it, perverse of me though it may be, when a certain kind of man's real hatred and contempt for women is exposed like this and they don't even know they're doing it. Grim though these truths may be, they have a certain Gotcha sort of thrill about them.

Re the boys' toilets, however, I have a solution that one would hope would please all parties. Let the little tykes pee standing up by all means, on one condition: that they clean up any mess they make. Immediately.

Radical, no? Teach little male creatures to clean up after themselves. Use positive reinforcement: permission to indulge in heroic masculine behaviour, like standing up to pee, is their reward.

Or is cleaning up after yourself, like peeing sitting down, just another one of those contemptible things that only girls and women do?