Monday, October 16, 2006

Masculinity under threat

Norway, it seems, is abuzz with indignation after a primary school headmistress, fielding complaints from cleaners that little boys kept missing the toilet bowl, suggested that said little boys should pee sitting down.

This has caused an uproar. She has been accused of trying to foil God's plan. It seems that to pee neatly is to pee like a girl, than which, naturally, there can be nothing worse.

I love it, perverse of me though it may be, when a certain kind of man's real hatred and contempt for women is exposed like this and they don't even know they're doing it. Grim though these truths may be, they have a certain Gotcha sort of thrill about them.

Re the boys' toilets, however, I have a solution that one would hope would please all parties. Let the little tykes pee standing up by all means, on one condition: that they clean up any mess they make. Immediately.

Radical, no? Teach little male creatures to clean up after themselves. Use positive reinforcement: permission to indulge in heroic masculine behaviour, like standing up to pee, is their reward.

Or is cleaning up after yourself, like peeing sitting down, just another one of those contemptible things that only girls and women do?

20 comments:

ThirdCat said...

Has she not heard of the ping pong ball in the toilet? Disconcerting for visitors who do not have little boys, but works a treat. Apparently. Of course, I don't need it, because my boys are totally focussed on all that they do and are never trying to do three things at once.

And yes, share the cleaning chaps.

laura said...

We are all Norwegians now.

ThirdCat said...

I just went and read that linked article. And re that God's creations stuff. Good grief.

Bernice said...

motherhood statement time - have son who does sit to pee - ask me not why - i have no idea, but he has never shown any interest in stand & miss as a delivery method. But before you get too envious oh mothers with sticky floors & wet toilet seats, it means that well, the front of the underneath of the toilet seat receives attention in a manner it was not designed to accomodate. if you get my drift. A whole new cleaning problem. But at least i don't get to sit in....Let's face it, the average loo is a pretty crap piece of design when it comes down to it. It accomodates all the likely uses in a half-arsed manner but does none well & fails to address the stand & deliver issue. Let them use urinals & dribble on their own shoes. They'll get the message soon enough.

elsewhere said...

Seriously, I had greater expectations of Norway.

Anna said...

I read a comment on one of those fundie godblogs that float around the place that basically blamed the Amish school shootings on men being forced to pee sitting down when they were kids. I kid you not. 'So that's what his grudge against young girls was' I hear you say.

So, yes, let them pee standing up, prevent these sorts of tragedies in their future "manly" years.

Bernice said...

Won't be dressing the boy-child in an Amish costume for next Halloween then...

Fyodor said...

WTFFFFF.

What elsewhere said - I expected more from the country that produced the vikings. Obviously the blokes with balls left the fecking fjords behind for the girlymen pantywaisters.

Leave your cock at the door, Sven, it's diversity training today.

Pavlov's Cat said...

Oh 3C, I love it. I take it the point is to aim for the ping pong ball because if you hit it it goes all bobbly and that is a hoot?

Laura, that is sinister. Ich bin eine Norwegian, I love it.

Anna, I'm sure I'm not the only person here who knows that Francis Dolarhyde turned into Red Dragon and killed a lot of people all because his mad, wicked grandma made him pee sitting down when he was a little boy.

Is it possible to get pantywaists in a bunch, do you think? Or would the buttons keep them pulled straight? Fyodor, I do hope you don't think I was actually backing this well-meaning teacher's suggestion. No! I know how much fun boys have playing with their God-created signifiers! (I just mis-typed that as 'dignifiers', which blows the whole Freduian slip thing out of the water right there.)

No, it's the cleaners I feel for. I wonder what sex they could be.

Fyodor said...

"Is it possible to get pantywaists in a bunch, do you think? Or would the buttons keep them pulled straight?"

If not bunched, certainly ruched.

"Fyodor, I do hope you don't think I was actually backing this well-meaning teacher's suggestion. No! I know how much fun boys have playing with their God-created signifiers! (I just mis-typed that as 'dignifiers', which blows the whole Freduian slip thing out of the water right there.)"

C'mon on, now, Pavvy, come clean: you actually wrote 'bignifiers', didn't you?

As for fun, you have no idea...

Fyodor said...

Apologies for lowering the tone even further here, but have you noticed that your Weatherfairy is wearing a rather saucy strappy black dress with leg cutaway and pussy staring right out at you?

Pavlov's Cat said...

Yes, it is a lovely day.

tigtog said...

I hope the subeditor for that Age headline got bought a drink by somebody - "aimless youth" indeed!

audrey said...

And yet, peeing while sitting down is something now hungover and tired boy-past-his-teens seems to have a problem with. Go figure.

It's all the feminists' fault. If they didn't go around trying to emasculate boys all the time, we wouldn't be in this situation and we probably wouldn't even have wars. Just because they want a cock...I'll give them a cock - right up the ginger, that'll sort them.

audrey said...

*no* hungover.

Mindy said...

Discussing this with a male friend last night, I was horrified to discover that they still give each other nicknames based on based on toilet behaviour.

Anonymous said...

Good to see there's still lots of misandry in the world wrought by those who once complained of being the downtrodden sex.

Remember girls: all men are potential rapists and paedophiles. Castrate them all. NOW.

Zoe said...

Oh, fack off you goon.

Pavlov's Cat said...

'Misandry'? Why, because I said there are some men who really hate women?

Yep, that can't possibly be right.

Read the posts and the comments properly before you come infesting my comments box, anon, there's the boy. If you don't understand them, it's always best to keep quiet. Less chance of making a complete f*ckwit of yourself.

Doorbitch says EEACHYLR, which suggests to me that she's been following this thread closely.

redcap said...

A few years ago, a manufacturer of toilets started making bowls with a fly under the glaze and slightly off-centre. Every boy who used said loo aimed for said fly, in an effort to, well, piss it off. Problem solvered.