Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Dear John

My darling,

I still remember that fateful day in the northern summer of 1993, when I first laid eyes on you as I cruised that beautiful store in Edinburgh and knew at once that we were destined to be together. You kept me warm in the treacherous climes of Scotland and England for a few weeks and then travelled home with me to Adelaide and took up residence with me in the chilly wilds of Melbourne, where, in the depths of winter, I continued to snuggle up with you as often as I could.

Over the years you have been faithful and low-maintenance, all a girl could wish for. You have been flexible and ready to fit in with whatever else was happening on the day. You have covered up for me on numerous occasions, softening, if not quite hiding, a multitude of my sins.

But I took a good hard look at you today, and I fear, my lovely one, that we have come to a parting of the ways. In the harsh fluorescent light of the underground meeting room with the malfunctioning heating and room temperature of -3 degrees Celsius, you looked thin, and old, and worn out, and for the first time ever, you failed to warm my heart or indeed any other part of my anatomy. You can no longer fulfil the role for which I made you mine on that lovely sunny day in Scotland, fifteen years ago.

You remain, however, beautiful in my eyes. And for that reason, I cannot bear to throw you out of the house. You are charged from now on with the important household duty of looking after the tortoiseshells and keeping them warm and snuggly. I know you will perform this task well, and I will be glad to know you are still near me.

With all my love,

PCXXX


12 comments:

Ampersand Duck said...

Wow, except for the bit about the cats, that is so close to the letter I planned to write my uterus in November.

Pavlov's Cat said...

Some things don't change from love object to love object, &D.

Zarquon said...

Keeping cats warm is a Higher Calling anyway.

Anonymous said...

At least you didn't use the "it's not you, it's me" routine :-)


cheers
BS

Mindy said...

And when it's coated in enough cat hair, it will be warm again and you can reclaim it! *shudder*

I think the puss cats will be chuffed to have something so stylish to snooze on.

lucy tartan said...

"*shudder*", Mindy?

Pavlov's Cat said...

Yes, I wondered about the shudder -- I think it would be an honour (although tortoiseshell and paisley don't really go together). And it's not as if most of my clothes don't already consist mainly of felted cat hair.

I knew the poor Scottish-wool Liberty-pattern scarfy shawly thing had finally died not when I found the holes (and they are wear holes, not moth holes, as you can probably see from the texture of the cloth), but when I put it down on the meeting table on top of my papers and realised I could read the agenda through it, as one is supposed to be able to do through properly rolled-out home-made strudel pastry before one wraps the apple in it.

genevieve said...

Home made strudel pastry, WANT WANT WANT....
and here was me thinking John must be a mohair rug. Not nearly pretty enough!

Mindy said...

A light sprinkling of cat hair I wear often, but it was really cold yesterday and I was thinking that for John to be warm again, he'd need a really thick matted coat of cat hair, the type that the vet charges you big $$ to remove from your cat after they've been playing in those sticky weed things. Maybe it's just me.

lucy tartan said...

Albie's neck hair is so long he regularly gets chunks of it in his mouth (still attached to the neck at the other end) and it goes down his throat and he gags on it until someone comes along with the scissors and releases him.

Anonymous said...

No, no, as one of your old frineds from another city with a fond acquaintance with John as a newer, fresher, warmer, more beautiful John, I'm just not willing to let him go that easily, even to a higher calling -- surely a little judicious doubling, tripling, darning, darn it?...
Tyaakian

Pavlov's Cat said...

Why hello there, T; how lovely to hear from you! Not to mention from someone who remembers this garment from back when one could not yet read the paper through it.

I did think about darning, but unfortunately that is by no means the only hole. The other problem is that in order to darn, one needs solid edges around the hole to anchor the thread in.

I hope you are getting lots and lots of this rain. xx