Friday, May 11, 2007

Another free public service: your writing questions answered

Yet again today, as it now seems pretty much every day, I am hearing more public talk of 'education' as though it were simply a buy-able commodity, rather than what it is in fact: an abstract and infinitely complex process of self-development, where responsibility for the process rests equally on student and teacher, and where neither the acquisition of knowledge nor the ability to process it can possibly be measured in money or in any other material equivalent.

And so, in protest against this drift in general, and in particular against the allocations in the Federal Budget for lavish university funding provided the universities in question teach what the Liberal Party wants them to teach, call it 'education', and commodify in it in such a way that its content becomes 'client-driven' and thus freed from all responsibility to truth, or indeed to responsibility -- in protest, as I say, I am starting YET ANOTHER blog.

The exclusive purpose of my new blog is to provide a free-of-charge advice and education service to aspiring writers.

At 'Ask The Brontë Sisters' you can put your questions about any aspect of writing -- characterisation, grammar, manuscript preparation, how to write your Creative Writing thesis exegesis, whatever -- to Emily, Anne and Charlotte.

All three worked as schoolteachers or governesses as well as writing Timeless Classics -- no Satanic postmodernist marxist cult studs relativism for the Brontës, I can tell you -- so they have experience in this area. Their patience with students is, however, limited, as is shown by the immortal words of Charlotte in a letter to a friend, describing her reaction to being interrupted by a small pupil needing help one day while she was in a creative daydream at her teaching desk: 'Just then a dolt came up with a lesson. I thought I should have vomited.'

And Charlotte is a pussycat compared with Emily. Sympathetic they are not. Nonetheless, they will respond to the best of their ability.

(If they feel like it, that is. They are all very highly-strung.)

I shall be available to provide a contemporary persepective on matters that they could not be reasonably expected to be up on. For example, I've supervised and/or examined quite a few MAs and PhDs in Creative Writing, so have a bit of an advantage over them in the How to Write Your Exegesis department, for example, though it's something of which I'm not sure they would approve.

For all your Advice to Writers needs, go here.


fifi said...

oh my goodness!!!

all my dreams just came true!!!

I can't wait. Thanks.

meli said...

Great idea! I'll keep it in mind (and hope I don't catch them on a bad day).

Jessica said...

Ah, what a fab idea for a blog! You rock.

Kathleen said...

I am so glad reading your blogs counts as work for me, or I would feel very guilty about clicking through to your new blog...

BK said...

P4vl0V C4t is teh w1n11111!!!!

Dave Bath said...

The people who have suffered from a commodotified (??) education would probably wonder about this service. Why would some girls who hang around a famous Sydney beach be able to give writing advice?

Yeah, and "Gibbon's Rise and Fall" is a book about Borneo jungles.

Anyway, Commerce degrees and MBA assignments (they can't be called theses anymore) avoid those pesky things like passive voice and adjectives that make for nuanced reading, and the subjunctive mood is almost prohibited.