Monday, December 05, 2005

Sex, God, calendars, cheese

Today's Sydney Morning Herald is running one of the weirdest headlines I've ever seen: Calendars use sex to sell God and cheese.

It looks to me like the answer to a vocab test: 'Use these four nouns in the same sentence.' Or maybe a Babelfish translation from the Finnish.

Capitalism being what it is, the verbs seem to be the only stable words in that sentence. So very dotty is this headline that the nouns look completely interchangeable. God uses cheese to sell sex and calendars. Cheese uses sex to sell calendars and God. Sex ...

Oh, never mind.

Actually they're two different calendars, one a German production using the many naked girlies who feature in the Bible to promote, well, the Bible (which is full of sex, as anyone who has read it knows, not to mention violence), and the other a French venture trying to improve the image of pongy French cheese by associating it with, you guessed it, naked girlies. Who are, as everyone knows, synonymous with sex.

Call me a pessimist, but I can't help reflecting that association is a two-way street. Never mind improving the image of pongy cheese and the Bible; both of these calendars could end up doing the image of naked girlies all manner of harm.

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