Monday, August 20, 2007

Pavlov's Law #49

Pavlov's Forty-Ninth Law states that every glass you break will be the first of a set. The house will thus be full of sets of glasses numbering three, five or seven.

There are, however, two silver linings here.

Silver lining #1: it further encourages one (as though any further encouragement were needed) not to hold dinner parties of the Noah's Ark variety, the kind to which people with no official/acknowledged/visible partner (of the opposite sex; this convention must drive gay and lesbian couples straight up the wall) never get invited unless the hosts accidentally find themselves with a 'spare' guest. In such cases, one is usually invited on the afternoon or even early evening of the dinner in question.

One should accept such invitations only if one knows the food is going to be good. While Noah's Ark dinner parties are usually dramas with double or triple parallel subplots -- extra points if any of the subplots are, so to speak, intra-couple -- to rival Shakespeare's, the dialogue is usually substandard.

Silver lining #2: The kitchen floor gets swept. Properly.

15 comments:

TimT said...

I believe Pavlov's Law #49 has an interesting extension that applies to the particular case of 'Glass Ceilings'. That is, no matter how many glass ceilings are broken, it will always be the first one.

Case in point: Philip Clark, on 2GB, interviews Gail Kelly, CEO of Westpac Bank, on Friday, and goes on about how she has broken through the glass ceiling...

Pavlov's Cat said...

Heh.

Kate said...

That's why I only buy Ikea glassware, we break a lot (only invite the sort of friends who break stuff in the heat of wild gesticulation) and they easily replaced in the same design.

But I'm also the sort of host who greets people by giving them a job. One of the best dinner party memories is of a night at a friend's place when, after the mains, everyone was given an apple and knife or peeler, while the host made a crumble to put over the top.

Kathleen said...

God, I hate Noah's Ark dinner parties. They should be outlawed - as should giving your standard single female friend, clearly not worthy of inclusion in the "real" bridal party, the job of giving the reading at your wedding.

Grrr.

The Devil Drink said...

Kate, I like the sound of glass-breaking in gesticulating heat. Cool.
"One should accept such invitations only if one knows the food is going to be good."
Or free.
"Noah's Ark dinner parties are usually dramas with double or triple parallel subplots"
Yeah, but there are worse than in Genesis. They don't come worse, IMO, than Matthew 26:18-25. Substandard dialogue? You said it.

Stephanie Trigg said...

How's that Coetzee review coming along, then?

Pavlov's Cat said...

Yes, Mum.

*sulks*

fifi said...

I am always happy to eat any item unprepared by my own hand, no matter what the conditions...lol.

Bernice said...

When apologising for breaking yet another pottery mug to potter friend, it was gently pointed out that potters love you to break them - you then need more. It has its benefits.

genevieve said...

Tim, that's really very good.
Kerryn, please explain - why do people still do that (the NA thang) anyway? It's gruesome.

Suse said...

It is, unfortunately, also the time when one discovers that dustbusters aren't what they're cracked up to be.

And out comes the good old fashioned broom.

lucy tartan said...

That silver lining abput the floor getting swept properly also applies to when the washing machine overflows (relative to floor getting washed) - although it's alwyas appreciated if the machine only overflows a little bit.

Pavlov's Cat said...

Oh, absolutely.

Ditto dishwashers, I believe. (I only ever had one and it never misbehaved, which I gather is quite rare.)

And yes, I too have found dustbusters an ongoing disappointment.

Andrew said...

I used to live in a house where we only washed the floor when the washing machine overflowed (it was in the kitchen). Fortunately the floor sloped towards the back door and away from my bedroom (which was really a dining room, and thus adjoining the kitchen).

I find if you drop a six pack of beer you also have to have a good scrub of the floor.

WhatLadder said...

I just had to buy new wineglasses following an incident involving red wine, two cats, sneaky hiding behind the door and pouncing.