Monday, March 31, 2008

Computer says no

When I bought my strawberry iMac in 1999, the Bloke immediately christened it Pink Patty. When I replaced it with the white eMac in 2004, the new model seemed to me to be a boy (possibly because it wasn't pink), and was therefore inevitably christened Patrick White.

(Who was, of course, gay, or as he would have preferred to put it, homosexual -- which is often also signified by pinkness, though not pinkification, which is reserved for full girliness. How's that for a little gender identification construction problematisation clarification valorisation.)

Now Patrick White is one of the many computers dotted about the country who that think daylight saving finished over the weekend. So every time I look at the on-screen, erm, time, I have to add an hour.

Yes, of course I know how to fix this. But I have a sort of atavistic fear of contradicting and correcting any entity called Patrick White. The old poppet has been dead for over seventeen years now, but the idea of gainsaying him still makes one shake in one's shoes. So I might just leave it alone, and by next week the time will be correct again with no intervention from me. Patrick White is merely ahead of his time; 'twas ever thus.


ThirdCat said...

Judging by the radio this morning, the whole thing seems to have caused more excitement than the millenium "bug". I can never believe how many (over)excited calls discussions about daylight saving and time zones attract.

lucy tartan said...

Patrick White is the perfect name, perfect perfect. I am almost offended that you haven't told us this before.

Pavlov's Cat said...

One must always keep something back for later.

I'm still quite proud of the anagram I found after the Australian's gotcha hoax when it sent round a chapter of The Eye of the Storm to publishers under the anagram-pseudonym Wraith Picket, which I thought was hopelessly lame. So I played with the Scrabble letters a la Rosemary's Baby until I came up with 'Keith Crapwit'.

But I would never call the computer that. Think what grotesque revenges it could wreak.

Liam said...

I'm fascinated to hear about the names other people give their computers, and it infuriates me when people are so unimaginative to leave their boxes nameless. How dare they?
My iMac was The People's Mac. It was of course, deepest red. Later on I used a g3 laptop, which of course became The Fellow Traveller.
I hope to maintain the commo-kitsch series. You're right, computers ought to know their place.

Mindy said...

In that case Liam, I need a name for a computer that puts up with tantrums, dirty CDs, frustrated bashing of its keyboard, food and liquid spills (all from Mr 5 and Miss almost 2). It's a Dell. Definitely long suffering.

ocky said...

Good old Arch Twitpike, author of 'Throaty Sunset' and 'Foreman Teeth'

I liked David Marr's story in the latest Monthly. The more I read about the curmudgeonly old geezer, the more I like him. (Well, sort of)

Pavlov's Cat said...

Mindy, I think you should call your computer 'Mum'.

Ocky, that is brilliant. I think we should have a competition. First prize a copy of The Solid Mandala, second prize two copies. Boom tish.

And thanks for the reminder about the David Marr piece. He talked about it a bit at Writers' Week so I've been looking forward to it.

ocky said...

Yes, Pav, a prize called The Slim Farklinen Award for anagrammed books that reflect Australia in any of its phrases.

Two copies of 'A Dismantled Halo' coming your way.

Anonymous said...

My computers tend to get named after mathematicians. The firewall is goedel, the main work box is cantor, and the Windows machine I got to rip my vynil is bach (well, OK, not _strictly_ a mathematician ...)

Bernice said...

Bewdiful. Love the photo too - I have a shot of Paddy glowering across the kitchen counter at some poor bugger. It used to be on a pinboard near the kitchen. The Tormentor was discovered one day chortling away at it - having taken two red headed pins and placed them surgically where Paddy's eyes were on the photo. It was too too appropriate.

Did you hear David Marr being pissy on RN this morn?

Pavlov's Cat said...

Excellent red pins story.

Missed David M on RN -- why was he being pissy? And to whom?