Tuesday, June 05, 2007

How to tell when it's time to buy a new house

Through the bathroom window, you can hear the two plumbers, master and apprentice, struggling to navigate the drain-clearing machine through the tree roots in the ancient, mysterious pipes deeply buried under the pavers and the concrete in the back yard when suddenly there's a loud crashy-bangy clunking noise and somebody shouts 'SH*T!!'

Then there are a couple of seconds of deep silence, broken by the same voice saying in a very controlled, quiet, purse-lipped kind of way: 'F*ck.'

And people say swearing isn't effective communication. Pfffft.

11 comments:

meggie said...

Groan... we are going through something very similar!
But in our case, it is me, who is quietly cursing & swearing.

Adam said...

Lol.

lucy tartan said...

Unless you buy a house that really is new, the plumbers and their very long metal spring-thing will still be paying one of their verbally colourful visits. We had exactly the same experience two weeks after moving in.

Black Knight said...

The quiet 'oops' is always more worrying than anything crude and shouted.

Dany le roux said...

Pav,
If they manage to fix the problem you should look for the tree/plant/whatever which suffers from having its water supply cut off and the go and kill it so it does not get a second chance.Might be a bit hard to spot in Autumn though

Bwca said...

It is my sincere belief that
usage of those words
in that context,
is completely literate and justified.

No other words could convey with such accuracy, the emotion of the moment.

I do however, loathe the rampant gratuitous use of those same words.

Comiserations on your situation -
I have seen the future .... and it is PLUMBING.

TimT said...

Are they still down there? That would be a cause for concern...

Pavlov's Cat said...

TimT, good point. I think I saw both of them get into their van and drive away, which I'm sure they were very glad to do.

Dany, yes, I've thought of this many times. Do you know how much it costs to get the little men with the chainsaws to come round? Also, there are at least five other trees I need them to do something about, so that pushes it up to five million dollars.

Anyway, before I get the tree people to come I have to get the electrician to come and do something about the illegal overhead line to the garage, and before I call the electrician ...

You get the picture. And if mere plumbers can get into that much trouble, imagine what language I might hear from the little men with the chainsaws. If they were still alive.

Anonymous said...

Enemy Combatant sez...


Pav, have you discussed the possibility of a change of abode with your cats? They can be quite unforgiving if "she who provides all" chooses an inappropriate dwelling. Perhaps a few running repairs would be less stressful on household members in the long run.

Pavlov's Cat said...

'Pav, have you discussed the possibility of a change of abode with your cats?'

Well of course.

I have carefully explained to them that the next house will have a proper pet door, one that opens from a dedicated space for litter tray and food bowls through to an outside cat run. And I mean a cat run with some sunshine on it, a good view of (but no other access to) all the pretty birdies, something to climb on, and a decent bit of dirt or cement to roll around in/on.

This prospect should damp down any untoward neuroses when the time comes.

(I'm hoping the cats, too, will stay calm. Boom tish.)

shula said...

I imagine about $3000 per expletive?